Is There Hope for the Separated?

Reality Check


You dreamed of a marriage where each made the other supremely happy. Now one of you has walked out. Separation is not the time to capitulate. In a very real sense, separation calls for intensive care, much like that given to one in grave physical danger. The condition of your marriage is 'critical'. Things can go either way at any moment. What happens will be determined by what you and your spouse say and do in the next few weeks and months.
Marital separation sometimes brings a temporary sense of 'peace'. One husband said, "This is the first week of peace I've had for years." Of course he felt peace; he had left the battlefield. However, retreat is not the road to victory. You must come from that retreat with a renewed determination to defeat the enemy of your marriage. Your dream can live again. But not without work ... work that will demand listening, understanding, discipline and change.
New Day, New Choices

I do not wish to minimize the hurt, pain, frustration, anger, resentment, loneliness, and disappointment you may feel. Nor do I take lightly your past efforts at marital adjustment. But this is a new day and calls for new choices.
When marriages fall apart, where do we go for help? The Christian turns to God because we know that He cares. The Bible is God's clearest voice for guidance. And the Bible calls us to repentance and reconciliation. Notice I said repentance. There can be no reconciliation without repentance. In marriage, this calls for mutual repentance, for almost always the failure has involved both parties.
If you are separated, use this time to examine the biblical principles for building a marriage. Discover where you went wrong and how to correct it. Deal with your own failures and ask God to help you do something positive today. I wrote Hope for the Separated to help you do this.
Hope and Help

Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. I know that you cannot make your spouse reconcile. But you can reach out for help. Call a pastor, a counselor, a friend; read a book.
Separation does not equal divorce, and is not necessarily the end. It may be the beginning of rediscovering the dream you shared when you were first married. Discover your options and don't forget that God is the God of miracles. There is hope for the separated.
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Adapted from Hope for the Separated by Gary Chapman.

Find out more at http://www.5lovelanguages.com/.
Saturday, June 26: "Dear Gary"

Building Relationships Radio
Whether it's a question about marriage, singleness, parenting, or dating, listeners have come to trust the answers given by Dr. Gary Chapman. On the next Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, you'll hear more questions for the author of the NY Times bestseller, The 5 Love Languages™. See if you agree with Gary's advice to callers this week, and learn how you can better speak love into the lives of those around you.
Featured resource for this program:

The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.
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Yeremiah Hardt